Nasirang Pangarap

Boy: Ikaw yung babae na sumira sa PANGARAP ko.

Girl: Huh?! Ano bang pangarap mo?

Boy: Pangarap kong maging SINGLE habang-buhay..

-Marcelo Santos III

Do what you are afraid to do

"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, Always do what you are afraid to do." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Warm Hug

Despite the numbness of the cold world, there will always be the one person who'll give you his/her warm hug. There will always be someone.

Relativity

"Put your hand over the stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with your loved one for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

Love, Richness, Sadness, Happiness, Time

Once, there was an island where the feelings lived. It was announced that the island was going to sink in the ocean. All the feelings prepared to leave.

LOVE asked RICHNESS: Can I come with you, in your boat?
RICHNESS: Sorry, but many gold and silvers are hear.
LOVE: Sadness, I'll go with you?
SADNESS: I'm sorry I want to be alone.
LOVE: Happiness, I'll go with you.

But happiness didn't hear what love said.

TIME: Love, come I'll take you with me.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed.

LOVE: Why did you help me time?
TIME: Because only time understands how great love is.

Human Brain

Human brain is invincible. It works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It works even when we are sleeping, it never stops working, until you fall in love.

truth can't change your mind

Sometimes, someone can mean so much to you, that even the truth can't change your mind.

Less Magical

"Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler...but much less magical." - Mr. Twig from SOUTHPARK

Maybe Sometime

Maybe sometime you'll have to stop waiting for someone to come along  and fix what's wrong. Maybe you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that no one else has the answer. Maybe sometime you'll just have to be your own hero.

23 hours and 58 minutes

It's crazy the way you see someone for two minutes of the day yet they we're the best 2 minutes of your day and you find yourself thinking about that person the next 23 hours and 58 minutes.

being loved

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
-Lao Tzu

Reality Bites

We can pretend to be brave to conceal our fears; pretend to be smart to conceal our insecurities; pretend to be strong to conceal our weaknesses; pretend to be happy to conceal our longings. But no matter how much we pretend to conceal our negativity, we will always be pierced by reality. Maybe that's what life is all about. Reality bites but we can never bite it back.

Closed Door

You see how a puppy cries when you try to leave him in the backyard while shutting the door of your house? The helpless puppy will scratch and scratch the closed door while crying but could do nothing to open it. Same goes with unappreciated love, we keep on trying, and we keep on scratching; but still, the door remains closed.

Yung Baboy o Ako?

Nanay: Ang lakas mong kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin ang malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo, ako o yung baboy?

Holdap Ito

Naranasan mo na bang makita siya nang di sinasadya?
Tinitigan ka niya sabay ngiti.
Tahimik mo siyang pinagmasdan. Bigla siyang lumapit saýo.
niyakap ka niya at dahn-dahang bumulong,


"HOLDAP ITO!"

Barkong lumilipad

Jun: Pare, ang laki talaga ng barkong sasakyan natin, ano?
Alex: Shhhh...'wag kang maingay...baka mahalatang promdi tayo. Maya-maya's lilipad na yan. Kumapit ka ha.

Ang aso

Garry: Ang daming magagandang aso rito. Bumili ka na para may kasama ka, araw-araw.
Mark: Eh, bakit pa ako bibili ng aso, kasama na nga kita, araw-araw.

Sa Beerhouse

Sa isang beerhouse...

GRO: Pogi, umorder ka na, nagugutom na ako!
Anthony: Waiter!
Waiter: Ano ang order ninyo, Sir?
Anthony: Palitan mo ang babaeng 'to, nagugutom daw siya!

Tipid si Inday

Danny: Pare, alam mo mula nang maging katulong namin si Inday, nakakatipid na kami sa tubig.
Miguel: paano nangyari un?
Danny: Kasi, sumasabay sa akin si Inday pag naliligo ako.

Noon at Ngayon

NOON: pag maganda ligawan mo agad.

NGAYON: pag maganda titigan mo muna,baka bakla,

NOON: konti lang ang lalaking gwapo.

NGAYON: konti na lang ang tunay na lalaki!

NOON: pag gwapo, BABAERO

NGAYON: pati panget babaero na din,minsan choosy pa! kakapal ng mukha!

NOON: hintaying bumilog ang buwan bago magpakasal!

NGAYON: hintaying bumiog ang tiyan bago pakasalan.

Plantsa at Gripo

Habang nasa mall ang mag-asawa..
Misis: Hon, nakalimutan ko palang bunutin ang plantsa sa saksakan.
Mister: Hindi naman siguro masusunog ang bahay natin.
Misis: Bakit naman?
Mister: Kasi, nalimutan kong isara ang gripo sa kusina. 

Nang dahil sa gatas

Jack: pare, kamusta ka na, ang tagal na nating hindi nagkita ah?
William: Oo nga. Naospital kasi ako sa kakainom ng gatas.
Jack: Bakit, nalason ka ba?
William: Hindi. naupuan kasi ako ng baka.

RIP

Anak: Inay, ano po ba ang ibig sabihin ng RIP sa nitso?
Inay: Anak naman. yan lang hindi mo alam?
Anak: Ano nga po?
Inay: Return If Possible.

Kulang ang Sweldo

Sherwin: Pare, bakit kaya kulang ang sweldo ko?
PJ: Bakit noong nakaraang linggo, sobra ang sweldo mo, hindi ka nagreklamo?
Sherwin: Unang pagkakamali yun. Ngayon, pangalawa na.

Paload

Bata: Manang, mayroon kayong load?
Tindera: Mayroon.. Bakit?
Bata: Pa-text naman po.

Sugar Daddy

Kathy: Bakit nangangayayat si Pare? Mataas ba ang sugar level niya?
Ella: Hindi mataas ang blood sugar niya, Mare. Pero nangangayayat siya mula ng maging sugar daddy siya.

Pano pag nang two-time ako?

BF: Hon, ano ang gagawin mo kapag nalaman mo na mayroon akong ibang syota?
GF: Wala lang. Kukunin ko ang eyeballs mo then, tutusukin ko. Babalatan kita at lalagyan ng asin ang laman-laman mo. Then itatali kita at paliliguan ng kumukulong tubig. bakit mo nga pala naitanong hon?
BF: (napalunok) Wala hon. Curious lang. I love you!

Past, Present, Future

Titser: Pedro, ano ang past tense ng TAKBO?
Pedro: Maám, tumakbo po.
Titser: Good. Ikaw, Arnel, ano naman ang present tense ng TAKBO?
Arnel: Tumaktakbo po.
Titser: Good. O, ikaw naman Cesar...ano naman ang future tense?
Cesar: Maám, mang-i-snatch.
Titser: Anong mang-i-snatch?
Cesar: Mang-i-snatch po muna saka tatakbo.

Bagay na may number

Sa classroom...
Titser: Magsabi kayo ng mga bagay na may number. Ikaw, Mike!
Mike: Cellphone, calculator, remote control, keyboard, lotto, jueteng.
Titser: Ano pa, Christian?
Christian: Maám ang tatay ko po, may number 2.

Doctor ng mata

Elmo: Dok, anong gagawin para bumuti ang pakiramdam ko?
Dok: Magdiyeta ka para mabawasan ang taba mo. Tumigil ka sa pannigarilyo at pag-inom ng alak. Tapos, pumunta ka sa doctor sa mata.
Elmo: Doktor sa mata, bakit ho?
Dok: Para mabasa mo ang karatula sa pinto. Beterinaryo ako, tanga. Yung doktor na kailangan mo, nasa 2nd floor.

Gustong mag-shift ng course

Tumawag si Kenneth kay Miles...

Kenneth: Pare, magsi-shift na lang ako sa Fine Arts.
Miles: Naku, pare, bago mo isipin ang pagsishift ng course, tapusin mo muna ang elementary.

Salawikain ng High School Students

Aanhin mo pa ang 100 kung 75 na ang uso?
It's better to cheat than to repeat.
Aanhin mo pa ang libro kung scholar ang katabi mo?
Sa hinirap-hirap man ng grading, sa pagdadrop pa rin ang tuloy.
Ang hindi marunong lumingon tuwing exam, bagsak na malamang.

Sinungaling

Tommy: Pare, hiniwalayan ko na ang syota kong sinungaling. Sabi niya doon siya natulog sa ate niya kagabi.
Mike: Oh, anong problema run?
Tommy: Ako ang katabi ng ate niya kagabi.

Pogi

Dalaga: Excuse me, pogi..meron kang kamukha?
Binata: Sino?
Dalaga: (Ngumiti ito nang matamis) Ýung susunod kong bf.
Binata: Sorry...hindi pwede yan.
Dalaga: Bakit?
Binata: May bf na kasi ako. At para sa kaalaman mo, hindi ako tomboy!

Curios

Tinanong ng isang binata ang isang dalaga,
"May bf ka na ba?"
Kinilig ang dalaga na sumagot,
"Bakit mo naitanong?"
Sabi ng binata,
"Curious lang ako kung may papatol saýo."

Exercise daily

Exercise daily.
Keep your body healthy.
Like my Lola, she was 85
when she started
walking 5 miles a day...
Now she's 100,
and until now
Hindi pa umuuwi!

It hurts a lot

In life, Be careful not to break the following:
1. Trust
2. Promise
3. Relationship
4. Heart
cause when they break, they don't make noise,
but hurts a lot.

Sweet friends

Being in love with each other
doesn't always mean you have
to be lovers. Sometimes, you
just have to be "SWEET FRIENDS".

Attraction versus Love

Attraction is the spark that ignites when you first kiss.
Love is the look in your eyes when you finally pull away.

Matuto kang magpahalaga

Pahalagahan mo yung
taong nagmamahal saýo,
yung taong nangungulit
saýo, yung taong hindi
nalulungkot pag kausap
ka, yung taong nagtitiis
kahit pinaparamdam
mong binabasura mo na
siya.
Dahil pag yan nagsawa at napagod na,
hinding-hindi na
mauulit lahat ng yun at
dun mo marerealize na
malungkot pala kung wala siya.

Why do you go to school?

One day in class, the teacher asked, "Students, why do you go to school?"
There was a silence until Juan Tamad ventured with the reply,
"Maám, we go to school because the school won't come to us!"

Capable of Serving

There is nothing in us that allows us to claim that we are capable of doing this work. The capacity we have comes from God; it is He who made us capable of serving.

The hardest riddle

Life is the hardest riddle in the world.

I'm rich

Boy: Hi.
Girl: What?
Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: I'm rich...
Girl: Oh! I'm Cindy, 18 years old! Do you wanna go out? By the way I like your hair. =)
Boy: My name is Rich and yours?
Girl: I'm sorry I don't talk to boys.

Dapat Kalimutan

Mahirap pag nakalimutan ang dapat tandaan.
Pero mas mahirap pag lagi mong natatandaan ang DAPAT mong KALIMUTAN!

God and Man

You know the difference between God and man?
God gives, gives, gives, and forgives;
Man gets, gets, gets, and forgets.
--let us be reminded to thank God for everything.

Immaturity

I don't need someone who is so matured to stop my immaturity,
what I need is someone who can ride on my immaturity and maturely understands me.

Stupidity Exists

Never feel empty when the person you love turns you down, because not all people are smart enough to appreciate you. That's why stupidity exists.

Do you have a mirror?

Girl: Hi :)
Boy: Hey.
Girl: I heard you like somebody...
Boy: Yeah, yeah.
Girl: Ooh, who is it?
Boy: I'm not telling.
Girl: Fine, do I know her?
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: Hmm, what's she look like?
Boy: Do you have a mirror?

3 personalities of a girl

Every girl has 3 personalities.
1) When she's with her family.
2) When she's with her friends.
3) When she's with HIM.