It Kills Them

Be happy in front of the people who don't like you, it kills them. :D

If You're Trying,I'm Staying

I can't promise you a perfect relationship, but what I can promise you is that if you're trying, i'm staying.

Warranty Expired

An angry bird was not happy with his wife, so he sent the following message to his mother-in-law. "Your product does not match my requirements."

The smart mother-in-law replied,"Warranty expired: manufacturer not responsible after the seal is broken."

Eh Bakit Ikaw?

Wife: Honey, ibili mo naman ako ng bra.

Husband: Honey, wag kana magbra, maliit naman dede mo eh.

Wife: (taas kilay) Eh, bakit ikaw naka brief?

In Pairs

You know why God made eyes in pair, ears in pair, hands in pair, legs in pair, while HEART is single?

For it to find its pair.

Parang Gobyerno

Ang Gf parang gobyerno lang yan. Maraming ipinagbabawal. Samantalang ang BF parang pulitiko, maraming pangakong puro naman napapako.

Miss, Anong Oras Na?

Boy: Miss, pwede magtanong? Anong oras na?

Girl: Nagtatanong ka ng oras? Tapos, itatanong mo pangalan ko? Tapos, hihingin mo number ko? Tapos, liligawan mo ako? Tapos, after one month na pacharming-charming, sasagutin kita. Tapos, bibisita ka sa bahay. Tapos magde-date tayo. Syempre, pakipot naman ako. Tapos, dadalhin mo ako sa motel! Tapos, may mangayayari sa atin. Tapos, mabubuntis ako? Tapos, pakakasal tayo! Tapos, bubugbugin mo lang ako! At pano na ang bata? Kaya hindi! Hindi ko sasabihin kung anong oras na!

Boy: ??? (speechless)

Thumb Mark

Aling Dionisia in a bank

Teller: Maám may ID ba kayo na may picture?
Dionisia: May pecture naman yang ID ko ah!

Tinignan ulit ng teller ang ID

Teller: Ay meron po pala. Sorry po. Kala ko thumb mark.

Maria Go

Teacher: Verb is an action word. Juan give me an example.
Juan: Went maám.
Teacher: Very good! Use it in a sentence.
Jaun: Maria go went to twon.
Teacher: Wrong! Kung gagamit ka ng went wala na yung go.
Juan: Maám yung go po apelyido ni Maria. Intindihin mo po kasi. Hindi ung lagi ka nagmamagaling.
Teacher: (nga-nga)

life is a surprise

We never know what really will happen to us each day and we never choose things that will be happening. So, let each day and all the days of our life be a surprise of what things will bring us, may it be happy or sad, exciting or boring, scary or fearless, forgettable or memorable. But one thing I want to wish from God, is to keep you safe. Give you love and courage. and give you the comfort of life that you deserve.

Sayo ako ikakasal

Di bale ng hindi kumain ng INASAL, oh maging sing talino ni RIZAL matupad lang ang aking DASAL na saýo ako IKAKASAL.

For Free

Love as much as you can because aside from dreaming , loving is the next best thing that you could avail for free.

It's Not The Mistake That Matters

It's not the mistake that matter, it's how you deal with it, what you learn from it, and how you apply that lesson to your life.

Appreciation of What We Have

Appreciate life even if it's not perfect. Contentment is not the fulfillment of what we wish for, but an appreciation of what we have.

New Start

Never use your failure yesterday as an excuse for not trying again. We may not be able to undo the damages but we can always make a new start.

Chance To Wake Up

It's always a blessing to realize you still have the chance to wake up every morning even if you have sometimes failed to pray at night.

Never The Same

Learn to value the people around you because once you LOSE someone, it is never exactly the same person who comes back.

Home Buddy

A fact:
Most singles spend their free time at home. Then they wonder why they never meet anybody.

What Can Be

Everyday is a new beginning. So, stay away from might have been and look at what can be.

Ayoko Ko Ng Ingles

Dionisia: Ayuko na ng Ingles, hirap intindihin!
Manny: Bakit naman?
Dionisia: Eh pano, ang isda, pis, ang mukha, pis, ang pandikit, pis, ang kapayapaan, pis, ang kapiraso, pis. Pati sa subdivision may pis 1, pis 2, pis 3!

Braha Ka Ba?

Boy: Braha ka ba?
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Ikaw kasi ang queen of hearts ko eh.
Girl: Braha ka ba?
Boy: Bakit?
Girl: Ang sarap mo kasing IBALASA eh.

If You Can Hold On

What makes life confusing is when you can't determine if things are signs for you to give up or just tests to see if you can hold on for long.

Parte ng Buhyay ang Pagiging Malungkot

Parte ng buhay ang pagiging malungkot, pero gagawin mo dapat ang lahat ng makakaya mo para maiwasan ito. Napakasandali lang ng oras para lumigaya, tapos isisingit mo pa ang kalungkutan na nararamdaman mo. Saan ka na lang pupulutin niyan? Sino pa ang aasahan mong tutulong sayo? Yung taong piniling saktan ka at pabayaan? 

Mas kilala mo ang sarili mo. Hindi naman niya nakikita na malungkot ka ngayon e, hindi bat para kang lugi sa ginagawa mo? Habang ikaw na malungkot , siya naman tong hindi ka napapansin at nagsasaya.

Dear Girls

Dear Girls,

Di lahat ng lalake pare-pareho. Pinaiyak ka man ng una, pinaluha ng pangalawa at yung pangatlo ay pinagmukha kang tanga. May lalake paring darating at ituturing kang prinsesa.

Vice Ganda VS. Asiong Salonga

Asiong : Aken ang lupang ito!

Vice : Sayo na !

Asiong: Ako ang hari ng tondo!

Vice: Bakit may papeles ka?!

Asiong: May gatas ka pa sa labi

Vice: Hinde milo yan .

Asiong: Hayup ka!

Vice: Natural kabayo ako!

He knows

Jesus is the author of life. He is the reason why certain things were allowed to happen. He holds destiny. He knows when. He knows why. He knows you perfectly. He made you. So when your life is all mixed up and things get heavier, trust Him. He makes all things beautiful and meaningful in His time.

Why They Hate You?

A person hates you for 1 of 3 reasons.
1| They want to be you.

2| They hate themselves.

3| They see you as a threat.

English Movie Titles translated in tagalog:

1. Black Hawk Down - Ibong maitim sa ibaba
2. Dead Man’s Chest – dodo ng patay
3. I Know What You Did Last Summer – uyy… Aminin!
4. Love, Actually – sa totoo lang, pag-ibig
5. Million Dollar Baby - 50 million pisong sanggol (it depends on theexchange rate of the country)
6. The Blair Witch Project – ang proyekto ng bruhang si Blair
7. Mary Poppins - Si Mariang may putok
8. Snakes on a Plane – Nag-ahasansa ere
9. The Postman Always Rings Twice – Ang Kartero Kapag
Dumutdot laging dalawang beses
10. Sum of All Fears - Takot MO, takot ko, takot nating
Lahat
11. Swordfish – Talakitok
12. Pretty Woman – Ganda ng Lola MO
13. Robin Hood, Men in Tights – Si Robin Hood at ang mga
Felix Bakat
14. Four Weddings and a Funeral -kahit 4 na beses ka pang magpakasal, mamamatay ka rin
15. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly - Ako, ikaw, kayong
Lahat
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’sStone - Adik si harry,
tumira ng shabu (parental guidance)
17. Click – Pindot
18. Brokeback Mountain – May nawasak sa likod ng
Bundok ng tralala /Bumigay sa Bundok
19. The Day of the Dead – Ang araw ng mga patay
20. Waterworld – Basang-Basa
21. There’s Something About Mary – May kwan sa ano ni
Maria
22. Employee of the Month – Ang Sipsip
23. Resident Evil – Ang Biyenan
24. Kill Bill – Kilitiin sa Bilbil
25. The Grudge - Lintik Lang Ang Walang Ganti
26. Nightmare Before Christmas – Binangungot Sa Noche
Buena
27. Never Been Kissed – Pangit Kasi
28. Gone in 60 seconds – 1 round,Tulog
29. The Fast and The Furious – Ang Bitin, Galit
30. Too Fast, Too Furious - Kapag Sobrang Bitin, Sobrang
Galit
31. Dude, Where’s My Car – Dong, anong level ulit tayo
nag-park?
32. Beauty and the Beast – Ang Asawa ko at Ang Nanay
nya
33. The Lord Of The Rings – Ang Alahero
34. Die Hard – Hindi Mamatay-matay
35. Die Hard, With A Vengeance – Hindi Na Mamatay-matay, Nag-higanti Pa
35. Lost In Space - Mga Tangang Naligaw sa Kalawakan
36. Paycheck – Sweldo
37. What Lies Beneath – Ang Pagsisinungaling sa Ilalim
38. Superman, The Return – Si Superman Bumalik, Naiwanan AngBrief
39. Cinderella Man – Bading si Cinderella
40. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Nag-trabaho si Charlie saGoya
41. Blade Runner – Magnanakaw ng Labaha
42. Schindler List – Mga May Utangkay Schindler
43. Men In Black - Mga Lalaking Namatayan
44. X-Men, The Last Stand – Mga Dating Lalaki, Huling Tinayuan
45. Wedding Crashers – Mga Bwiset sa Kasal
46. The Day After Tomorrow – Sa Makalawa
47. Three Men and a Baby – Ang Tatlong Yayo
48. Catch Me If You Can - Habulin Mo Ko
49. A Bug’s Life - Ang Buhay ng Isang Surot
50. Die Another Day - Mamatay Ka Uli Bukas
51. The Rock – Ang Shabu
52. Jaws – Panga
53. Back to the Future – Sa Likod ng Hinaharap
54. In the Line of Fire – Tumulay ka sa Alambreng may Apoy
55. Saturday Night Fever – Sabado ng Gabi, may Trangkaso
56. Stepmom – Tapakan si Inang
57. Brother Bear – Kuya Oso
58. Police Academy – Paaralan ng Mga Buwaya
59. The English Patient – Ang Pasyenteng Inglesera
60. Man on Fire – Nasusunog na Mama
61. The Horse Whisperer – Ang Tsismoso ng mga Kabayo
62. Dante’s Peak – Ang Bumbunan ni Dante
63. Legends of the Fall – Ang Kasaysayan ng mga Lampa
64. The Forgotten – Ewan
65. 3 Idiots – Ikaw, Siya, Kayo
66. Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen – Transformers, Ang paghihiganti ng mga lampa.

So You Never Forget Me

Little Boy - Will you marry me?!

Little Girl - But.. We are too young to marry..

Little Boy- Yeah!! I know, I'm just making sure that I am the first one to ask you.. SO YOU NEVER FORGET ME.

Walang Pambili ng Bigas

Aanhin mo ang PAG-IBIG NA WAGAS
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Kung pag nagsama na kayo WALA KAYONG PAMBILI NG BIGAS.

Ako Nga Pala Si Mata

HI ! AKO NGA PALA SI 'MATA' ..

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MATA-GAL KA NG MINAMAHAL ! YUN YUN EH !

Ikaw Ba Si Paola?

IKAW BA SI "PAOLA" ??

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KASI PAOLA-GI KITANG NAIISIP !

Ako Nga Pala Si Dennis

HI ! AKO NGA PALA SI "DENNIS" ..

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ANG iDENNIS-TINY PARA SAYO !

Ikaw Ba Si Aiko?

IKAW BA SI "AIKO" ??

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ANG TAONG "AIKO" MAWALA SA BUHAY KO !

Hey Busy

Hey busy

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Pangalan Ng Baby Natin

Gf: Buntis ako! Anung gagawin natin? Problema ‘to…

Bf: (di kumibo)

Gf: Ano? Kala ko ba mahal mo ko?

Bf: (di pa din kumikibo)

Gf: Pananagutan mo ba ko o hindi?

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Bf: Kesa sigaw ka ng sigaw dyan, tulungan mo nalang ako kung anung magandang… PANGALAN NG BABY NATIN.

Nazareno Ka Ba?

NAZARENO KA BA ??

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HANDA KASI AKONG MASAKTAN MAHIPUAN LANG KITA !

Top 5 Songs of 2012

TOP 5 SONGS OF 2012:

5. RUNAWAY
by Ramona Revilla

4. NEVER GONNA LET YOU GO
by Leila De Lima

3. SO SICK
by Gloria Macapagal Arroyo

2. PAALAM NA
by: Justice Corona

& the top 1 is
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1. THIS GUY'S IN LOVE WITH YOU PARE
by Kc Concepcion!

Same Way I Looked At Your Mother

A simple cute short story:

Today, my boyfriend came over
and met my parents.

Then he left,
and my Dad told me
that my boyfriend loved me.

I smiled and asked,
“How do you know?”

He said,
"Because he looks at you
the same way I look at your mother".

Tourism Slogans

Since we have already the "It's more Fun in the Philippines" as Tourism slogan, maybe we can also have some of these Philippines domestic tourism slogans:

-Boracay, You Sexy Beach!
-Haller, Baller!
-Bohol, Go to Hill!
-Be Cool, Bicol!
-Thank You, Camiguin!
-Maliit Navotas, Lumalaki!
-We Fly High in Capiz!
-Go Gaga in Naga!
-Kaibigan, Punta na sa Vigan!
-Virac, You Rock!
-Kamuning Get Me!
-Better Leyte Than Never!
-Whee! Tawi-Tawi!
-Walang Aayaw sa Apayao!
-Maraming Gig sa Taguig!
-Bongga Ka Day sa Norsaragay!
-I wanna dance with Zambales, I wanna feel the heat with zambales!