Few People Cares

Be careful whom you open up to. Only a few people actually cares. The rest are just curious.

Tubig na Lang

3 vampires having dinner.

Mayaman: Fresh blood please.
Middle Class: Dinuguan nga.
Mahirap: Tubig na lang. May napulot kasi akong napkin. Magtsatsaa na lang ako.

Heart Surgery

Girl: I'm having a heart surgery.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!

After the surgery, the girl woke up with only his father on her side.

Girl: Where is he?
Father: You don't know who gave you the heart?
Girl: What?! (the girl starts crying)
Father: I'm just kidding. He went to the toilet.

Everybody Knows How To Love

Everybody knows how to LOVE. But only few people know how to STAY in love with ONE PERSON for a very LONG period of TIME.

Deepest Needs

Only God can satisfy our deepest needs of our hearts and make us truly alive. His love, cannot be explained. It can only be experienced.

LOVE for GOOD

Your heart shall tell you where to go. Your sharp mind shall tell you how to get there. And your deep LOVE for GOOD shall guide you on your way.

We Need To Be Open

We need to be open of what we feel. Denying is not the best way to escape cause the more you hide the more it kills you inside.

Before....

Before you talk, listen. Before you act, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you quit, try. Before you pray, forgive. Before you get, give.

Gaano Ka Kahalaga?

Sa buhay, marerealize mo na may dahilan kung bakit mo nakilala ang isang tao. Yung iba, dumating para subukan ka. Yung iba, para gamitin ka. Yung iba para turuan ka. At yung iba, dumating para malaman kung sino ka talaga. Meron namang iba na dumating para saktan ka, at least natuto ka. Kalimutan mo na yung mga taong hindi ka tinutuing ng tama. Dun ka sa mga taong minamahal ka. At nakikita kung gaano ka kahalaga.

Maestro Ka Ba?

Dionisia: Maestro ka ba?
Tindero: Hindi po maám. Di ako nakapagtapos eh.
Dionisia: Okay lang yan. Pero maestro ka nga?
Tindero: Maám, hindi nga po ako.....

(DIONISIA nagalit na)

Dionisia: Humaygad! Ano ka ba? Hindi mo ako sinasagot! Ang tanong ko kung maestro ka? Pano ko maiinom tong coke, kung wala naman akong estro?!

I Wish I Could Go Back

One day, all of us will get busy with our lives. No more gala sessions, long hours of talks, or even SMS. Some will get married, wont'have time. At such a day, you'll look outside your window and see the good old memories flash you by and you'll get a smile with a tear in your eye thinking, "I wish I could go back..."

Sabaw

Sa jeep..

Boy: Kuya di pa po ba tayo aalis?
Driver: Hindi pa. Wala pang laman!
Boy: Bakit? Anong tingin mo sa'kin? SABAW?

Sorry

Minsan ang salitang sorry ay nakakabura lang ng galit at hindi nagtatama ng mali.

Taguan

Dalawang kinder naglalaro:

Girl: Laro tayo taguan.
Boy: Sige ba! Ako taya! Ano naman premyo ko pag nahanap kita?
Girl: Kiss.
Boy: Eh paano pag hindi?
Girl: Eeee! Kainis to! Basta andun lang ako sa likod ng drum.

Listening and Hearing

Hearing tells you that the music is playing. But listening tells you what the song is saying. Makes sense? Often times, we hear but we FORGET to LISTEN.

Share It With Him

Whatever you're feeling right now, how good or bad it is, GOD wants you to share it with HIM before you sleep. Pray.

Just For Today

Just for today, decide to be happy. To live with what's your. If you can't have what you want, maybe you can like what you have. Just for today, decide to be kind, to be cheerful. Be agreeable. Be understanding. Be your best. Dress your best. Look for the brighter side of things. Praise people instead of criticizing them. Just for today, try it. After all, it's just for a day. Who knows? You might like it and do it again everyday.

Real Lies

Never trust the DOUBTED ones and never doubt the TRUSTED ones. God has given us REAL EYES to REALIZE the REAL LIES.

Son-In-Law of Bill Gates

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates'daughter.
Son: Then ok.

Dad goes to Bill Gates

Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.

Bill Gates: Then ok.

Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank..

Dad: Apoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No!
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President:Then ok!

What is a GENTLEMAN?

What is a GENTLEMAN?
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A gentleman is not the one who remove
the buttons of the dress of the woman,
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But the one who close it and says..
"YOU DESERVE TO BE RESPECTED" :">

Malandi Kasi

Na'wrong send si GF kay BF sa text ..

GF : Hi ! Nakita kita kahapon .. Pogi ah ! :>
Sino GF mo ngayun ? Wala kasi ako BF ee ..

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BF : Hello :) Matagal ko nang alam na pogi ako. Thank you sa compliment.
Ganun ba ? Wala akong GF eh. Magbbreak na kami mamaya. MALANDI kasi .

Bakit ganun?

Pag kulot ang hair, INUUNAT!
Pag Unat, KINUKULOT!
Pag Mataba, NAGPAPAPAYAT!
Pag Payat, NAGPAPATABA!
Pag Maraming Ginagawa, PAGOD!
Pag Walang Ginagawa, BORED!
Pag Nandyan, HINDI PINAPANSIN!
Pag Wala, HINAHANAP!
Pag Wala pa, HINIHINTAY!
Pag Malamig, GUSTO MAINIT!
Pag Mainit, GUSTO MALAMIG!

Kuntento Sa Isa

Hindi porket CHICKBOY ka, eh gwapo ka na.

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Mas gwapo pa din yung lalaking marunong makuntento sa isa. :>

Loyal VS. Faithful

A FAITHFUL person doesn't have time to get attracted with others, his/her attention is exclusively for the one they love.

A LOYAL person still gets attracted with others, appreciates beauty, flirts in some ways, but at the end of the day, a loyal person knows where his/her heart belongs to.

SO WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

You Can Listen To My Heart

Girl: I hate d fact that u r taller than me

Boy: Trust me there is an advantage in it

Girl: What?

Boy: When I hug you,

You can listen to my heart which beats only for you ♥ :)

Girl: :">

No Space

BF and GF nagchachat:

GF: I Love You ♥
BF: ILoveYouToo♥

GF: Something wrong with your space bar?
BF: No, there's just no space for me to LOVE anyone else..
GF: :">

Ang Tapang

Tongi: Ang tapang talaga ni Rojit! Biro mo, tumalon mula sa eroplanong kasalukuyang lumilipad nang walang parachute!

Polgoso: Oh? Totoo? Saan mo naman yan nabalitaan?

Tongi:  Dun sa burol niya!

Mmmmmmm

TRIVIA: You cannot say '''mmmmmmmmm' for 10 seconds while holding your nose.

Balooooot!

Mambabalot: Balooooot! Balooooot!

Juan: Balot, balot mainit ba yan?

Mambabalot: Opo boss.

Juan: May asin ka?

Mambabalot: Meron po boss.


Juan: Sige, pabili ako ng dalawang kilong asin.

Always Best

God'plan is always best. Sometimes the process is painful and hard but don't forget when God is silent. He's doing something best for you.

The Person You Need Most

Sometimes you have to stop loving the person you need the most. Not because the feeling is gone, but because he is constantly and unintentionally hurting you.

Miss Quietly

It's better to miss someone quietly rather than let him know and just get no response.

Keep Your Faith

Those who thank God even in trials turn the burden into blessings. So keep your faith close to your heart and God shall provide the comfort you need.

UNEXPECTEDLY

I hate it when things happen UNEXPECTEDLY. It's like the whole world conspire just to make me sad - without even knowing it.

We Learn

Things happen because we choose to. There may be regrets but blaming is not an option. We are where we are because we brought ourselves there. We get happy, get sad, but most importantly, we learn.

KALANDIAN

Guro: Juan, kung ako'y may 5 anak sa unang asawa at 7 naman sa pangalawa at 3 sa pangatlo, meron akong?

Juan: KALANDIAN po. Isa kang kerengkeng maám, malandi ka, haliparot, kaladkarin, makati, mahilig, pariwara, pokpok, imoral.

Guro: Umupo ka, adik ka! Di ka makakapasa.

Ordinary Person

One day you will be surprised to see yourself smiling at the thought of loving someone so much who used to be an ordinary person to you before.

Your Smile and My Smile

What is the difference between your smile and my smile? You smile when you are happy, and I smile when you are happy.

Doesn't Matter

Judge: What if you find out that your boyfriend has AIDS. What will you do?

Girl: I'll still love him. (Everybody claps.) Because I believe that AIDS doesn't matter.

You Call Them FRIENDS

A boy once asked his dad..."Dad, why are my friends like that? They always make fun of me; laugh when I make mistakes; like it when I get embarrassed. They call me stupid and say I'm a loser. Is there something wrong with me?"
His dad smiled and said, "What's wrong with you is you call them FRIENDS."

Love...

Love is one thing that you can't generalize.

He's Crazy About You

God is crazy about you. There are so many reasons God saves you: to bring glory to Himself, to appease His justice, to demonstrate His sovereignty. But one of the sweetest reasons God saved you is because He is fond of you. He likes having you around. He thinks you are the best thing to come down the pike in quite a while. If god had a refrigerator, your picture would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. When ever you want to talk, he'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and he chose your heart. Face it friend. He's crazy about you.

Meant To Be

"If two people are meant to be together, eventually, they'll find they're way back." - Chuck Bass

Do Or Die

There's really nothing so important about love, it's just a do or die situation.

Respect The Differences

Always remember that you can never find a perfect partner to love you the way you wanted. Only a person who's willing to love you more than what you are, someone who'll accept you for what you can and can't be. Enjoy the similarities, respect the differences, and that's even better than perfect.

After All, He's Your Son

A man bought a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner.

DAD: Son where were you today during school hours?

SON: At school. *Robot slaps Son* Ok, I went to the movies.

DAD: Which one?

SON: Toy Story *Robot slaps Son again* OK. It was day with a porn star.

DAD: What? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was. *Robot slaps Dad*

MOM: Hahahaha! After all he's your son. *Robot slaps Mom*

Parang ATM

"Ang love parang ATM yan eh. Hindi pwedeng withdraw ka nang withdraw. Magdeposit ka naman." - I Do

Worst Feeling

The worst feeling is not being lonely. It's when someone makes you feel special then suddenly leaves you hanging and you have to pretend you don't mind at all.

Make Two Persons Happy

Try to make at least TWO PERSONS happy in a day, but make sure that one of them is YOURSELF.

Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is not about expecting the best to happen. It's about accepting that whatever will happen, is the best.