If There's Nothing Wrong

"If there is nothing wrong in the world, there wouldn't be anything for us to do." - George Bernard Shaw

Dear Ma'am

Dear Ma'am,

Di porke parepareho kami ng sagot ay nagkopyahan na kami.
May tamang sagot ba na iba-iba ?
Sorry kung parepareho din mali namin .
Iisa kase ang takbo ng puso at isip namin XD

nagmamahal,
estudyante..

An Umbrella We Can Share

I don;t have the capacity to paint the skies blue when the dark cloud sets in, but I do have an umbrella, we can share in case those raindrops fall.

Saying...

Sating that someone is ugly doesn't make you prettier.
Saying that someone is dumb doesn't make you smarter.
Saying bad things about a person doesn't make you any better.
It actually makes you less than half of what that person is.

Parang Orasan

Sana ang pag-ibig parang orasan laging pakanan...




hindi nangangaliwa...

Kamukha Mo Misis Ko!

Misis: Lolokohin ko mister ko, magpapanggap ako na prosti dito sa
kanto. Timing (dumaan ang mister nya...)

Misis: Pogi! available ako ngayon, pwede ka ba?

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Mister: Yoko sayo...kamukha mo misis ko!

May Sariling Dahilan

Kapag nagmahal ka dahil sa itsura & pananamit niya.
-ATRAKSYON yan.

kapag nagmahal ka nmn dahil sa maganda nitong katawan & makinis na balat.
-PAGNANASA yan.

kapag nagmahal ka dahil macpag o matalino sya.
-PAGHANGA yan.

Pero kung nagmahal ka & di mo alam ang dahilan kung bakit.
-PAG-IBIG yan.

Dahil ang pag ibig ay may sariling dahilan na di natin maintindihan.

Parang Rainbow

Ang taong malayo pero importante sa'yo ay parang rainbow. Minsan mo lang nakikita, pero pag nasilayan mo napapangiti ka.

Pen Pen De Sarapen (Bekimon Version)

pen pen de chorvaloo
De kemerloo de eklavoo
Hao hao de chenelyn de big yuten
Sfriti dapat iipit
Goldness filak
chumochorva
Sa tabi ng chenes
Shoyang fula, talong na fula
Shoyang fute, talong na mafute
Chuk chak chenes, namo uz ek.

INAGAW

Bakit nawawala sa'yo ang isang bagay?

Una, pinabayaan mo.
Pangalawa, hindi talaga para sa'yo.
Pangatlo, pinamigay mo.
At ang masama, INAGAW sa'yo.

NPA

ARMY: Manong saan ba dito nagpupugad ang mga NPA?

MANGYAN: Sir matagal na ako dito sa bundok, pero wala pa akong nakikitang pugad ng NPA. Ano ba kulay ng itlog nila sir?

Mabilis

TEACHER: Juan, kapag tinanong kita dapat mabilis yung sagot mo ah.

JUAN: Yes ma'am!

TEACHER: Ok, 1+1?

JUAN: MABILIS!

Stress, Fear, Panic

What's the difference between stress, fear, and panic?

STRESS - is when your WIFE IS PREGNANT.
FEAR - is when your GIRLFRIEND is PREGNANT &
PANIC - is when BOTH are PREGNANT.

Destiny is Written

They say your destiny is already written. But sometimes, you just have to grab a pen and become the author of your life.

3 Ways To Die

3 easy ways to die:

1. Puff a cigarette daily. (You will die 10 years early.)
2. Drink alcohol daily. (You will die 30 years early.)
3. Love someone who doesn't love you back. (YOU WILL DIE DAILY)

Paubos na!

Ang tunay na lalake







PAUBOS NA!

Aanhin ang Kagandahan at Kagwapuhan?

Aanhin pa ang kagandahan kung ginagamit lang naman sa kalandian? At aanhin pa ang kaguwapuhan kung ginagamit lang naman sa kataksilan?

Any Questions?

I wish that every heartache would be a lesson, and hope that ex-partners are like professors who will say, "Any question before we MOVE ON?"

Lie To Rihanna

If you're gonna lie, lie to Rihanna because she loves it! And I don't!

Like a Book

Be careful in judging a person with your own opinion, because sometimes just like a book, you might be surprise you have the same contents.

Homework Definitions

FACT
You know the FULL LYRICS of over 100 SONGS,
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But can't remember 25 HOMEWORK DEFINITIONS.

Barbie Doll

Mukha kang BARBIE DOLL, and just like her, maganda ka nga, PLASTIK ka naman.

What It Would Be?

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"
Alice in Wonderland

Quotes To Live By

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the piegon; some days you're the statue.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

we see things..

""We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin

Nothing Wrong

"There's nothing wrong with you. There's a lot wrong with the world you live in."  - Chris Colfer

A Very Sad Story

A very sad story.

Boy: Magdodota ako ha.
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Girl: No.

Ikaw ang Naiiba

Girl: uy! alam mo, sa lahat ng nanliligaw sakin, ikaw lang ang naiiba...

Boy: (kinilig..) wow! ayyieee.. talaga? swerte ko pala.. ako lang naiiba! :">

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Girl: OO! ikaw lang WALANG PAG-ASA!!

Parang Tsinelas

BOY: Ang pag-ibig ko sayo ay parang tsinelas..

GIRL: Bakit naman?

BOY: Kasi..San ka man pumunta, Handa akong matapakan, masugatan, at madumihan..

maingatan ka lamang :)

Ito Pala Gusto Mo!

Boy: Kukunin ko ang mga bituin at ibibigay ko sa iyo!

Girl: Shut up! Hindi mo nga makuha yang kulangot mo, bituin pa!

Boy: Ay sorry, hindi ko alam na ito pala ang gusto mo!
(nangulangot)
Oh.. Ayan na!

Kamusta?

Sa C.R.

Pumasok sa banyo ang isang lalaki..habang naka-upo na siya may nagsalita sa kabilang banyo...

TAO1: Pre, kumusta?

TAO2:(sumagot) Ok lang...

TAO1: Ano gawa mo dyan?

TAO2: Eto. Dumudumi..Di na makayanan eh...

TAO1: Pre tawag na lang ako ulit sayo. May sagot kasi ng sagot dito eh. Di naman kinakausap..

Bat ang Piloto?

Boy: Maga-apply po sana akong seaman.
Captain: Marunong ka bang lumangoy?
Boy: Hindi po.
Captain: Oh, edi hindi ka pwede? Hindi ka marunong lumangoy tapos magsi-seaman ka?
Boy: Oh bakit, ang piloto ba, marunong lumipad?

Take a Bullet For Her

Boy: Hey, hon!
Girl: Hey.
Boy: I missed you at school today. Why weren’t you there?
Girl: Yeah, I had to go to the doctor.
Boy: Oh really? Why?
Girl: Oh, nothing. Just some annual shots, that’s all.
Boy: Oh.
Girl: So what did we do in math today?
Boy: You didn’t miss anything that great, just a lot of notes.
Girl: Ok, good.
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: Hey, I have a question…
Boy: Ok, ask away.
Girl: ….how much do you love me?
Boy: You know I love you more than anything in this world.
Girl: Yeah…
Boy: Why did you ask?
Girl: …>silence<…
Boy: Is something wrong?
Girl: No. Nothing at all.
Girl: …how much do you care about me?
Boy: I would give you the world in a heartbeat if I could.
Girl: You would?
Boy: Yeah of course I would. >sounding worried< Is there something wrong?
Girl: No, everything’s fine…
Boy: Are you sure?
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Okay…I hope so.
Girl: ……….would you die for me?
Boy: I would take a bullet for you anyday, hun.
Girl: Really?
Boy: Anyday. Now, seriously, is there something wrong?
Girl: No, I’m fine. You’re fine. We’re fine. Everyone and everything is fine.
Boy: ……okay.
Girl: ….well, I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.
Boy: Alright, bye. I LOVE YOU!
Girl: Yeah…I love you, too. Bye.
THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL:
Boy: Hey, have you seen my girlfriend today?
Friend: No.
Boy: Oh.
Friend: She wasn’t here yesterday, either.
Boy: I know. She was acting all weird on the phone last night.
Friend: Well, dude, you know how girls are sometimes.
Boy: Yeah, but not her.
Friend: I don’t know what else to say, man.
Boy: Okay, well I gotta get to english. I’ll see ya after school.
Friend: Yeah I gotta get to science. Later.
THAT NIGHT:
-ring-
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Girl: Hello?
Boy: Hey.
Girl: Oh, hi.
Boy: Why weren’t you at school today?
Girl: Uh, I had another appointment with the doctor.
Boy: Are you sick?
Girl: ……..um, I have to go. My mom’s calling on the other line.
Boy: I’ll wait.
Girl: It may take a while. I’ll call you later.
Boy: Alright…………I love you.
>very long pause<
Girl: (with a tear in her eye) Look, I think we should break up.
Boy: What!?
Girl: It’s the best thing for us right now.
Boy: Why??
Girl: I love you.
-click-
THE GIRL DOESN’T COME TO SCHOOL FOR 3 MORE WEEKS AND DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE.
Boy: Hey dude.
Friend: Hey.
Boy: What’s up?
Friend: Nothing. Hey…have you talked to your ex lately?
Boy: No.
Friend: So you didn’t hear?
Boy: Hear what?
Friend: Um, I don’t know if I should be the one to tell you…
Boy: dude, what the hell just tell me!
Friend: Uh….call this number…433-555-3468
Boy: Ok…
BOY CALLS NUMBER AFTER SCHOOL
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Voice: Hello, Suppam County Hospital. This is Nurse Beckham.
Boy: Uh, I must have the wrong number. I’m looking for my friend.
Voice: What is their name, sir?
(boy gives info)
Voice: Yes, this is the right number. She’s one of our patients here.
Boy: Really? Why? What happened??? How is she???
Voice: Her room number is 646 in building A, suite 3.
Boy: WHAT HAPPENED!?!?
Voice: Please come by, sir, and you can see her. Goodbye.
Boy: WAIT! NO!
-dial tone-
BOY GOES TO HOSPITAL, AND TO ROOM ..646, BUILDING A, SUITE 3. GIRL IS LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED.
Boy: Oh my God, are u okay??
Girl: ………………
Boy: Sweetie!! Talk to me!!
Girl: I……….
Boy: You what?? YOU WHAT???
Girl: I have cancer and I’m on life support.
Boy: …………………>breaks into tears<………………….
Girl: They’re taking me off tonight.
Boy: Why??
Girl: I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t .
Boy: Why didn’t you tell me????
Girl: I didn’t want to hurt you.
Boy: You could never hurt me.
Girl: I just wanted to see if you felt about me the same as I felt about you.
Boy: …?
Girl: I love you more than anything. I would give you the world in a heartbeat. I would die for you and take a bullet for you.
Boy: (crying)
Girl: Don’t be sad. I love you and I’ll always be here with you
Boy: Then why did you break up with me?
Nurse: Young man, visiting hours are over.
The boy leaves and later that night the girl is taken off of life support and dies, but what the boy didn’t know is that the girl only asked him those questions so she could hear him say it one last time. She only broke up with him because she knew she only had 3 more weeks left to live and thought that it would cause him less pain and give him time to get over her before she died.
NEXT DAY
The boy is found dead with a gun in one hand and a note in the other.
THE NOTE SAID:
“I told her that I would take a bullet for her, just like she said she would die for me.”

Rocky Road

BOY1: Alam mo yang kilikili mo parang cake.

BOY2: Bakit?

BOY1: Parang Black Forest!
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BOY2: Ah, ganon ba? Yang mukha mo naman parang ice cream!

BOY1: Natutunaw?

BOY2: Hindi, Rocky Road!

Open-minded

Pasyente: Dok, bakit po ganito ang operasyon sa ulo ko? Halos kita na utak ko .
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Doctor: Ok lang yan, yan ang tinatawag na open minded.

The kind of guy we most likely want to be with:

The kind of guy we most likely want to be with:

He knows how to make you laugh even though you’re trying your best to ignore him.
He always surprises you with simple things.
He loves taking pictures of you and, taking pictures of the both of you.
He’s not too much addicted in playing computer games.
He always finds time to be with you.
He texts you early in the morning just to say “good morning *insert your nicknames here*”
He calls you because he misses you.
He’s good in socializing with your friends and even your family.
He will buy a sanitary napkin for you in the store even though it’s embarrassing for him.
He’s good in school. Good in sports.
He knows how to dress properly and not the “jejemon” style.
He carries you in his back.
He will do everything just to prove to you how much he loves you.

BUT YOU FORGET ABOUT THIS THINGS WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE 'CAUSE YOU'LL START TO LIKE or LOVE WHAT HE REALLY IS. Ü

Minahal mo rin Siya

Huwag mong lait-laitin ang ex mo dahil minsan sa buhay mo

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Minahal mo siya ng lubos at totoo =)

Aanhin mo ang Palasyo

Aanhin mo ang palasyo kung walang internet connection dito?

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Mabuti pa sa bahay kubo na sa wifi zone nakapwesto!

HAPDI

"HAPDI"

yan ang tawag kapag ang ipapasok mo ay kalahati lang..

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example:

"bosz pde po ba akung magHAPDI today?"

Panakip Butas

Wag mong lagyan ng band aid ang sugat mo kung dumudugo pa ito.

MAKE SENSE:
Wag kang maghahanap ng panakip butas kung alam mong mahal mo pa siya.

10 questions without answers

10 questions without answers:

1. Does jennifer love hewitt?

2. Where did rachelle anne Go?

3. Why is chris brown?

4. Where did sandara park?

5. Is chow yun fat?

6. What did henry sy?

7. Did jordin sparks?

8. When will orlando bloom?

9. What is victoria's secret?

10. What does david cook?

I really dont know the answers, & i'm sure wilma doesnt to.

Mistakes in the Dark

Teacher: Give me the opposite of this sentence.

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“CHILDREN IN THE DARK MAKES MISTAKES”

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Juan: "Mistakes in the dark can make children.”

Ang Crush

Ang CRUSH ay isang PAGHANGA...
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Minsan NAWAWALA,
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BOYS;)

BOYS ;)

1.They care for you.
2.They stole your heart slowly but surely.
3.They broke your heart into pieces BUT STILL GIRLS CAN STILL LOVE THEM WITH THAT BROKEN PIECES.
4.They melt you with their fuckin’ sweet words.

When they are in love with you, they make sure that they won’t break your heart girls.

MGA GUSTO NG ANAK MARINIG MULA SA MAGULANG NILA

MGA GUSTO NG ANAK MARINIG MULA SA MAGULANG NILA

1. Nak, gising na! pero kung antok kapa, tulog ka muna

2. Oh? san ka na naman pupunta? Oh, eto pera, text mo ko kung kulang pera mo.

3. Ba’t amoy alak ka? Teka! Kukuha ako ng mouthwash

4. Umaga na a? ba’t ngayon ka lang? Matulog kna dun, puyat ka

5. Ang bababa naman ng grades mo, nak. Okay lang, may next sem pa naman.

Hindi Inaabuso Ang Babae

Ang tunay na lalaki,

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hindi inaabuso ang babae kahit alam niyang patay na patay ito sa kanya.

Happiness...

Happiness is not seen on how many times you smiled but it is finding that sensible reason every time you do so.

Tayo Na Ulit Please?

BOY: Tayo na lang ulit oh, please!
GIRL: Bakit may mababago ba pag nakipagbalikan ako sayo?
BOY: Meron promise! swear!
GIRL: Ano?

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BOY: Babaguhin ko na apelyido mo.

Wag na nga Lang!

GIRL: I need space.
BOY: (umusod ng unti) oh yan space!
GIRL: I mean maghiwalay na tayo!
BOY: Oh sige, diyan ka dumaan sa kaliwa, dito ako sa kanan.
GIRL: Ano ba?!
BOY: Anong ano ba?
GIRL: Ayaw sa'yo ng mama ko!
BOY:  Mas lalo naman ako! Di ako pumapatol sa matando no! Kaw talaga hon. Loko!
GIRL: BREAK NA NGA KASI TAYO!
BOY: Oh eto skyflakes, ikagat mo ang break mo.
GIRL:  Leche! Wag na nga lang!

Bluetooth VS. Wifi

A girl is like a bluetooth. You are next to her, she stays connected. You go away, she finds new devices. A boy, however, is like a wifi. Many devices can connect to him as long as he is not secured.